the brain wall

Of all the things Allie has posted on Hyperbole and a Half, this post most accurately reflects what my life is like.

On Tuesday, I wrote over 7000 words. On Wednesday, I wrote 4000. On Thursday, 2000. On Friday, 2000. And then on Saturday...well, honestly, I've just been sitting around in my pajamas playing games on Facebook.

I feel like I've been running a marathon, trying to finish this book. It's gone from a labor of love to one of spite. Goddamnit Book, I say to it when no one is around to think I'm insane, you're the only work in progress to survive the fire and I will finish you.

Allegedly, the brain uses 1.5 calories a minute while hard at work. So if I sit here and write nonstop for seven hours like I did on Tuesday, my brain is only using 630 calories all day long. That doesn't seem like it should exhaust a person, right? But calories are only part of the deal. See, I think willpower is kind of like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets, but that's in the long run. If you exercise it too much or don't give it time to recover, it's going to be weak from overexertion and then it might tear or get injured or something.

This has absolutely no factual basis behind it whatsoever and is just some crap I made up, but I'm going with it. My willpower is cramping up and in need of a massage and possibly a day of rest and maybe just maybe a pizza.

And on the Seventh Day C.D. said, "Let there be rest." And it was good.

(yes, this is all just an elaborate justification for being lazy. SHUT UP I DON'T WANT TO BE SELF-AWARE)